If we never have enough love, we have more than most. We have lost dogs in our neighborhood and wild coyotes, and sometimes we can’t tell them apart. Sometimes we don’t want to. Once I brought home a coyote and told my lover we had a new pet. Until it ate our chickens. Until it ate our chickens, our ducks, and our cat. Sometimes we make mistakes and call them coincidences. We hold open the door then wonder how the stranger ended up in our home. There is a woman on our block who thinks she is feeding bunnies, but they are large rats without tails. Remember the farmer’s wife? Remember the carving knife? We are all trying to change what we fear into something beautiful. But even rats need to eat. Even rats and coyotes and the bones on the trail could be the bones on our plates. I ordered Cornish hen. I ordered duck. Sometimes love hurts. Sometimes the lost dog doesn’t want to be found.
if an archaeologist says an artifact was probably for “ritual purposes” it means “i have no fuckin clue”
but if they say it was for “fertility rituals” they mean “i know exactly what it was for but i dont want to say ‘ancient dildo’”
Back in the day I worked at a certain very famous and very high caste art museum in the US as a junior curator. Part of my job was to catalog the objects in the museum database. This includes details like provenance, measurements, and a visual description of what the object looked like.
Like I said, the museum was a pretty snotty institution. It’s got a LOT of objects it’s way famous for possessing, but nobody knew about the absolutely massive collection of Moche erotic pottery it had because the curators were totally embarrassed by this stuff.
Some examples:
Pretty hot shit, right? They never, ever put any of this stuff on public view or published it in any catalogues but - we legit had like several hundred pieces of Moche ceramics in the “dirty pots” category. Anyway, I was left alone to just do my job with regard to the database for several years, ok? And I figured, well, these’re accessioned objects in the museum’s collection - better get down to bidness.
I catalogued every goddamn bestiality, necrophiliac, cocksucking, buttfucking, detached penis, and giant vulva drinking cup in that collection. I’d be like,
A drinking vessel in form of a standing man wearing a tunic and cap. He holds an oversized erection in his hands and stares into the distance (note I did not say “like he’s hella-constipated”). The vessel has a hole at both the tip of the penis as well as around the rim of the figure’s head, thus forcing the drinker to drink only from the penis or risk spilling wine all over themselves from the top of the vessel. Red and orange slip covers the surface of the piece.
Pretty straightforward, right? Apparently the deep seated fear of these objects that the curators exhibited was meant to spread to me as well, but - no one ever gave me that memo, because I guess Midwesterners reproduce asexually. When the curators understood that I had catalogued all of these objects in addition to the other, non-sexy pieces in the collection, they were apparently livid, but knew they had no legs to stand on in terms of getting pissed at me for it.
I visited the museum’s online public access database a few years back and - every single description I wrote of these pieces has been totally neutered to say something like Male figural vase.
Long story short? Just call a dildo a fucking dildo. It’s all gonna be ok, I swear.
This is absolutely the MOST unusual reblog I have ever tagged with what is probably my second-favorite tag, “talk to me about your work.”
WASHINGTON—A day after America’s deadliest mass shooting left at least 58 dead and more than 500 injured in Las Vegas, sources close to the nation confirmed Tuesday that it had showed dozens of warning signs leading up to the massacre. “Looking back, the U.S. had so many red flags that I’m unfortunately not at all surprised this tragedy took place,” said Nebraska resident Tyler Stout, who along with 325 million of his fellow citizens observed that the country had become increasingly isolated in recent years, often making other nations uncomfortable in its presence. “America clearly had some mental health problems, and it’s spent decades stockpiling guns and ammunition. And then there were all those crazy, unhinged rants it was constantly posting on social media. I mean, this country was just a ticking time bomb.” At press time, sources close to the nation said that perhaps the most pronounced warning sign was that it had perpetrated mass shootings hundreds and hundreds of times before.
